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January 18, 2012

Can we all just agree that it has been a weird year so far.  Let’s do a brief recap of some of the recent madness.

Today the internet is broken.  Mostly because of geeky SOPA protests, which I support.  That sentence fragment may be unclear.  I do not support SOPA.  SOPA is a piece of shit.  I support the geeky protests which have resulted in sites like Wikipedia going black.  I took full advantage.  I asked my brother if he was aware that the treaty JFK signed with aliens at Area 51 was set to expire next year.  He spent 2 minutes trying to find any reference to the story online.  My brother is Jesse Ventura.

Titanic 2 happened.

Babyonce was born, and it turns out that cringe inducing internet name for her fetus was better than the name they gave her when she came out.

The best jokes at the Golden Globes this year were penis jokes, and not the ones Ricky Gervais told .  In fact, he was not all that funny this year.   Ah well.   At least I got some penis jokes out of the three hours I invested.  I do love a good penis joke.

Stephen Colbert is running for President of the United States of South Carolina.  Even though he’s not on the ballot.  And his Super Pac ran an ad calling Mitt Romney a serial killer.  And the voice over was done by Trinity Killer, John Lithgow!  I love the Republican primary so hard.

And finally, this.  This dude couldn’t stop The Happening from terrorizing us, so I have a few doubts about his ability to stop a hijacking and safely land an aircraft.  With his penis.  Dirk Diggler.  Always go out on a penis joke.